this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
