Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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