He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
