Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
