Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
