i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Farmville is her only friend.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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