My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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