So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
4 words: hood of his car
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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