I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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