Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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