if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
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Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
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I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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