We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
