matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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