Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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