I like my sex mixed with concussions.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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