Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
