member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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