C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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