The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
