How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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