Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
