i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
