Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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