i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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