I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
