The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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