after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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