this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize