You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
