I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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