just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
How naked do you want me to be?
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