These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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