he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I have aggressive nipples.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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