Christians are straight up FREAKS
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
