dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Randomize
