no. you can't hotbox the world.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
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Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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