I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
