Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
