dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I can't put those talents on a resume
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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