I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
