Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize