You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
