Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
