$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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