I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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