I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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