He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
