He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
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I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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