I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
her vagine was all disorganized.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
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