Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
