I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize