When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
