Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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