Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize