My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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