Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
