Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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