Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
