That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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