Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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