nut hugger
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Randomize
