I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.