What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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