Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
