oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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