Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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