do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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